Saturday Night in Thunder Bay

When I woke up this morning, I felt like death. My alarm clock was buzzing but I didn't care, the most beautiful sunrise in the world was ascending over "The Sleeping Giant" illuminating Lake Superior, but I didn't care, and I had the most rotten taste of vending machine Doritos, beer, and morning breath all in one.

I looked at the bag of Doritos on the bedside table wondering where they came from, as well as the garbage can pulled next to my bed with three apple cores in the bottom that I don't remember eating. That's when my memory slowly made it's way back to me. It was three in the morning when Kevin and I stumbled back to our hotel. The elevator was out of order, so we went to the staff elevator behind the swimming pool where there was a vending machine. I didn't want the Doritos but I put a dollar in anyway.

I had spent the day filming a music video for the aboriginal youth council with my friend Roxanne, the Deputy Grand Chief. Her friend Kevin was staying in my hotel doing film work as well. It had been a long and tiring day, so after packing up, Kevin, Roxanne and I went to a Thai/Vietnamese restaurant called "Lovely Mango". Since dating a vegetarian for the past year and a half, i've hardly eaten any meat. I never ate it regularly before due to not cooking and taking the easy way out with Mac and Cheese, or bean burritos. I looked at the menu and decided to get the mango rice stir fry and a Chinese beer. Kevin ordered coconut soup, spring rolls and Chinese beer. Roxanne also had the soup with extra noodles, and a mint tea with honey on the side.

When my food arrived, it looked good, but didn't taste as good as I thought it would taste. I also noticed some chicken in it which made me think back to the last time I ate chicken ending up with food poisoning. I continued to eat it anyway. As Roxanne and Kevin were talking, I felt this odd sensation in my stomach. I knew I had to throw up, so I nonchalantly left the table and calmly walked towards the ladies room. However the washrooms only consisted of one toilet not numerous stalls. I arrived just in time to see a little old lady enter the room locking the door behind her. I couldn't wait for her to come out, so I went in the men's room and almost immediately after bending over, began throwing up everything I had just eaten. It was so violent with such great force, that a chunk of mango got lodged in my nasal cavity. I tried blowing it out and puking it out, but instead I coughed and it came shooting out plastering itself on the wall. I felt much better, and went back to the table.

I was unsure if maybe it was food poisoning again or if maybe my body just doesn't like meat at all. Before going back to the hotel, we stopped at Walmart. I had forgotten my swim suit at home so I bought a new one to make use of the hotel pool. Kevin decided it would be fun to go to a bar and drink a beer and write, so after Roxanne dropped us off at our hotel, we walked to Gargoyle's. The place was jam packed with Northern Yuppies (they do exist). It was too bad because there was a great jazz band playing. We decided to walk a little further to Tony and Adam's. Kevin was almost positive that the two hot waiters (perhaps Tony and Adam) were gay, so he was thrilled when one of them came to our table. And to be honest, he totally ignored me and wouldn't take his eyes off Kevin who resembles a native Johnny Depp.

I don't really know Kevin, and had only briefly met him at a function a year ago, so it was interesting to hear what he had to say. He told me that when he was working for the Sundance film festival, a porn director stopped to talk to him. He looked at Kevin's hands and told him that he could never work in the gay porn industry because they prefer people with small hands. Big hands just make a penis look small. Then Kevin looked at my hands and told me they would be perfect. I became self conscious and hid them under the table for the rest of our stay. After three beers Kevin pulled out a brochure that someone had given him. It advertised a drag queen show going on at 11:45 at a bar called "Black Pirate's".

As we walked, Kevin who doesn't smoke decided to buy a cigarette off a kid. We shared it and I felt terrible. Before we could even enter the bar, there was a mob of metal heads in black leather, black hoodies, black boots, and studded belts. As we stared at them, they asked us our names and why we were in Thunder Bay. We told them we were filmmakers visiting from Vancouver and Winnipeg. One of them came forward and began ranting for twenty minutes about how we need to make a movie about trans-gendered prisons and the need for them. He told us he was a hater and hated everything about politics and the government.

We finally made our way into the bar to discover a rockin' metal band on stage. The kind of metal band that can swing their long greasy hair in circles perfectly as they shred a mean riff. After their performance, the drag show began. Her name was Andrika, and she was the prettiest little boy dressed as a girl ever. If she had boobs, I would've thought it was a real girl. Kevin was amazed by her dancing and lip syncing and her subtle shimmies with the slutty girls. By now we were on our fifth beer, even though I should've stopped after the first three especially since I didn't even get a chance to digest dinner. I have a problem saying "no" when people buy me drinks. After two more metal bands, and a hip hop duo, the Black Pirate's closed down for the night. I had drank six beers (maybe seven), and I wanted to stumble home to bed. Kevin on the other hand insisted another bar would be open, so we walked to another bar that he claimed his friend worked at. It was clearly closed. The lights were out, and the doors were locked, yet I watched as Kevin knocked on all the windows and back entrances.
Finally we gave up and came back to the hotel.

I'm lying in bed not wanting to move or be at work for 9:00am.


The picture is mine and Kevin's hotel. My room is the top right, and his is right below me. Some people told me my floor is haunted by all the ghostly drug addicts who have overdosed in it's 100 years.